Feral Worker: Is Self Employment a Choice or Destiny?

Do you think about becoming self-employed? Do the thoughts in your head go something like this, “I hate working because….”

You know those reasons:

“I detest office politics.”
“I don’t get enough money to do this,”
“No one recognizes how special I am.”
“I can’t stand my lazy co-workers one more minute.”
“This is the fifth time I’ve been laid off. I don’t want to go out and job hunt again!”

Have you ever thought, “I should become self-employed!” Is that how self-employment happened, or might happen, to you?

Or did you realize there was something very different about you–even when you were just a kid? I mean really different. Like feeling happy to go see your dentist?

Yes, that was me. Little Nancy reaching up to grasp the cool metal bar that opened the door, leaning all my weight on it to open the heavy door, and escaping along with the stale air from the corridor in my junior high school. That was I, feeling pure joy as I heard the “clang of freedom” as the steel door slammed behind me for a couple hours.

Mind you, it wasn’t that I hated education. I loved learning. And I liked my friends in school. And sure my dentist was nice, but I didn’t have a crush on him! No, in any structured place, like a school, I just felt trapped, like a weasel in a box.

My favorite job, and the only one I couldn’t do successfully, was cherry picking. I envied guys who worked on highways, even though I knew I’d be bored out of my mind with such a job. I dreamed of becoming a forest ranger or postman. But I never qualified for an outside job.

I was on time every night to my first job in an electronics factory because someone gave me a ride, and the company docked our pay if we missed even a minute. But left to my own devices I always arrived late to my jobs. As I worked my way up the career hierarchy to more freedom in the workplace, I only felt more and more trapped. Even when I could roam a whole university campus at will, I didn’t want to go to work.

I didn’t realize it, but I was born to be a feral.

Only after a tiny black and white cat came into my life and refused to be confined to human habitation, did I figure that out. Torn or scratched carpets, blinds, and windowsills had to be repaired or replaced for years until I got the message. He’d always come back, but only if I let him go.

So one day I let myself go too.

Yes, I had had some of those negative thoughts I mentioned above too. And you know what? They just went right along with me when I went into business for myself. Now I was muttering:

“I’m not making enough money.”
“I can’t stand that annoying client one more minute.”
“No one even knows what I do, let alone how special I am.”
“How am I going to deal with that other independent contractor who keeps messing up my client’s project?”
” I used to have to job hunt once every few years. Now I have to do it every week. Why oh why did I become self-employed?”

But deep down I didn’t really care. I was a feral worker. I was free.

And I’ve learned some really important lessons through being self-employed. If I worked with someone I didn’t like, I could actually experiment and find a way to deal with it without the risk of having to hit the unemployment line. If I didn’t make enough money, it wasn’t someone else’s fault. It was my responsibility now.

And some things changed for me because I needed them to change. I learned to enjoy selling my services because it enabled me to really connect with people. I was finding out what people needed and telling them I could give it to them. I liked that. And I finally got recognized for my hard work. Many of my clients gave me appreciation my coworkers or bosses didn’t.

And the biggest payoff of all from working feral? I learned I could feel freedom and joy at work…without having to go to the dentist. For that, I’ll be grateful to self-employment [and one fierce little black and white cat] forever.

ferals enjoying a walk

Copyright © 2009 Nancy K. Humphreys