Trump’s Axe Beats Abe Lincoln’s

Donald Trump has managed to make not only the media, but the vast majority of other Americans turn back into teenagers again.

Remember when we were at the age when we began to obsess about what our peers were doing and why? Passing notes or texting in class with BFFs about this boy or that girl? Or about our teachers? Self-absorbed and other-absorbed while the rest of the world didn’t matter.

I’m fascinated with the addictive way many of us are reacting, either for or against Donald Trump. This weekend the violence that erupted in the South seems to have usurped every other thing going on the world.

In a recent post, “Divided They Fall – Right Wing Regulation,” I discussed how Trump’s actions and those of his right-hand man Steve Bannon were at odds with each other. Now Trump’s even at odds with his own base!

There are all kinds of conflicts going on, inside the White House, in Congress, between Congress and the White House, inside the media, and now, even in the streets. What’s amazing is that these splinterings all seem to be stemming from one individual – President Donald Trump.

How could one person create such chaos and bitter division? What kind of person is capable of that?

Judith Orloff, MD calls them “splitters”

Dr. Orloff, a psychiatrist, is the bestselling author of Positive Energy and four other popular books.

In Chapter Five of her book, Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life,” she introduces us to five kinds of “Emotional Vampires”.

The fifth type of person who sucks out our life blood is a splitter. Splitters are difficult people that psychologists label “borderline”.

If you Google “Trump” and “borderline,” you’ll find a lot of articles about the President by both experts and laymen.

What I like about Dr. Orloff is the way she helps us identify what borderline individuals do to split other people apart. She asks us to think about how we feel when we’re around one of them.

Here is her QUIZ : AM I IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A SPLITTER?

• Do I censor my true feelings because I fear this person’s anger?
• Do I go to great pains to keep the peace?
• Does he keep me on an emotional roller coaster?
• Is he adoring when I meet his needs, a rageholic when I don’t?
• Do I frequently feel wrongly accused?

If the answer is yes to one or two of these questions we are dealing with a splitter.

All of the literature on borderline individuals says they operate out of an intense fear of being abandoned.

I saw that kind of fear in a friend whose mother developed dementia. She was terrified by that loss. She attempted to kill herself after she aced out and herself pushed all her friends away.

As far as Donald Trump goes, I can think of no other man who has needed to go back to speak in front of his “base” so many times in order to feel comfortable with himself in his role as President of the United States.

In dealings with others, Orloff says of borderline individuals, “Their mixed message is ‘I hate you/Don’t leave me'”.

Trump pillories everyone around him whenever they do or are what he doesn’t like. One day it is this person; the next day it is another person. Every day it is someone.

Today it will be someone else; tomorrow it could be you. Even watching this behavior from a far distance puts most of us on an emotional rollercoaster.

This is exactly what Donald Trump wants and needs. He has made news nearly every day since he was inaugurated. He’s making sure we are watching him.

Dr.  Orloff says, “Getting you upset makes them [splitters] feel alive. They feed on chaotic emotions, because they feel more real when you react.”

Dr. Orloff believes splitters “are people who feel fundamentally damaged, empty, as if they don’t exist. Their relationships are intense, unstable.”

If they don’t get what they want, “they feel abandoned, a primal impulse that triggers verbal abuse or impulsive acts.”

At this point in his Presidency, Donald Trump’s viral tweets are outdoing the axe meme used by “The Rail Splitter,” President Abraham Lincoln!

What can we do about it?

Dr. Orloff’s recommendations, titled STOP EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL, are:

• Establish boundaries
• Avoid skirmishes
• Refuse to take sides [against others without fact-checking]
• Quickly release negativity
• Visualize a protective shield around you

I’m greatly heartened by all the Americans who are doing these things already!

Rallies for peace and love are things I haven’t seen in this country for over a half century. I hope we can all find positive ways to resist the rage within us and heal the hate coming between so many of us.

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